Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Another Update

Doing better. Left the house a couple of times this week. Felt ripped off from Beefy King the other day. Sandwiches are awesome but expensive and if you order a large combo it only means the sandwich is large not the drink and tots which pissed me off.

Got my bandages completely off the incision so I looked at it in the mirror... Scary and long. Like at least a foot long.

Weird pains in the new hip area. Not sure if it's muscles suddenly being used again or something else.

Finally sleeping longer thanks to the Ambien. I took the shit in the hospital and it didn't work at all, but when I ran out of my usual OTC stuff I tried one Ambien and passed out cold for 7-8 hours. First time in almost a month. Think my body stills needs more sleep, but this is a good start.

Was having major issues with the diabetes which made me feel like shit with upset stomachs which led to being depressed and easily upset. I'm was riding it like crazy but just couldn't seem to keep it down. Was taking 2 to almost 3 times the insulin I should normally have to whenever I eat. Seems like whenever I do a new pump connection the levels are good for a day or so then go to hell again like the insulin is bad. Increased my hourly dose and hoped that has helped. The surgeon said the Cortisone shot would affect my blood sugar and so did the nurse that came to the house, but no one said for how long. But this new pump connection seems to be working well and my levels have been decent.

Mom's been really great about getting me my favorite foods. Shewent to the Hard Rock Casino and then shopping today but she freaks out about leaving me alone. She wants me to have a friend over to daveysit. I ended up in bed all day anyway. No problems.

My friend Scott helped me on Sunday, going to my office to pick up all the books that have come in since I've been gone the past month and then we went to my condo where he helped me box up my Amazon.com orders. Was trying to avoid it until the 6 weeks is up, but they're running out of books and getting pissy so I needed to get them all these books since I'm directing everyone who comes to my site to Amazon.

My print rep at the printer I use just has his hip replaced last past week too. Mad at myself for not knowing the date and forgetting to call him before he went in.

Doing freelance design when I can which is good because after that bullshit pay cut at work I need the income badly now. Have to start paying my HOA fees in October.

So I've actually been calling some of these doctor and medical places and questioning the bills and some of them actually tell me to forget about them or set up payments for me which is nice. Shit added up quick and that doesn't even include the hospital shit that I know will be coming in soon. I will be broke soon. Annoying.

Still battling occasional depression bouts. Happen whenever I'm in pain or feeling off. I feel useless at times. Still have no drive to write or read. Did some music stuff, but not much.

Not sure how this walking thing is going to work. Have two more weeks at mom's but I think that may extend some. My leg is really weak and I've tried walking on it and it's just not right. Concerned as to how long this recovery will ACTUALLY take.

Well, that's it for now. Since the blood sugar has been really good, gonna have a little piece of French Silk pie and watch EUREKA's season premier.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Update

Doing a lot better. I can actually leave the house and go out to eat. Just have to deal with manhandling this huge cyber-walker. Very exhausting, but worth it to be able to get out. Mom took me to Il Pescatore Friday afternoon and I felt like my life was coming back to normal just a little more.

Doc took the staples out on Monday and incision is doing fine. Still have a little over 3 weeks of being at my mom's. Sleep is still messed up. Can only sleep in 3 hour stints. I'm allowed to lay on my incision side, but it feels weird so I'm stuck with just the right side which gets sore after only a few hours. Hopefully that will get better soon.

Should get my first disability check next week which will be nice. Everything is covered bill wise, but some income would relieve the mind some. more.Found out I took a 20% pay cut at the ad agency while I was in the hospital. SUCKS, but at least I still have a job. I really wish the people in my company who make a shitload of money would fucking start earning that money and get new clients and bring in more money.

Currently working on a new podcast. So far, so good. Should be live early in the week.

Haven't done any writing or reading yet. No real drive to. Did get my music files in order and got my fonts on my desktop machine straightened out. As a designer I love fonts, but they can be the bane of my existence at times. Machine is running faster now.

That's about it. Gonna go back to bed for a few hours.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Back From First Post-Op Appointment

Just got back from the surgeon where I had my staples removed and got a Cortisone shot in my good hip because the Bursitis in it has been bad. Everything looks good and my recovery is coming along quickly, although I'm not allowed to put a lot of weight on the new robo-hip do to my soft bones and the hip needing to set right. Gonna be 4-5 weeks before it will set.

So news is good. Still uncomfortable a lot of the time and not sleeping well at all. Sleeping in 2-3 hour shots which isn't good. Keep pulling things trying to avoid standing on the new hip, so get all this other pain. Percosets are helping with that.

Going to start focusing on little jobs here and there: organizing music files, making a new podcast, etc. Hopefully over the next 4 weeks I'll get a lot done. We'll see.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I'M HOME!

Came home yesterday at around 3:30 and promptly passed out for 5 hours. Hadn't really slept in almost a week because of the pain and the hospital waking me every 2 hours.

So I'm at my mom's for the next 5 weeks. Gonna be rough, but better than being in the hospital by a million times.

Sage like words for everyone...

Don't take your legs or even health for granted. Be glad you can move and dance. I have to use this mega walker thing that basically carries my weight. Takes me minutes to walk 10 feet. Sucks. I can't drive, or leave the house except for doc visits. So take care of yourself and legs. Not being able to walk, get in and out of bed, shower, etc. is horrible.

Work on being healthy, because I saw too many people this past week that showed me what happens when you don't take care of yourself. Strokes aren't pretty. Getting old isn't pretty. Although there was this 90+-year-old lady in the group sessions who was pretty damn cool.

This whole situation has been pretty brutal and still is, but I know it will get better. Just have to be patient and not do anything stupid.

So everyone go out tonight and dance and celebrate the fact you can. Do it for me because I can't.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Been a rough day. HOSPITAL Day 7

I've decided to try and keep a more detailed account on my day here. Something to do and may benefit someone. This isn't going to be one of those "Buck up. Things will be sunnier tomorrow" BLOG threads. Because I don't feel that way. At all. Will it get better, most likely. But today I got pretty fucking down.

They just tried to move in a roommate to my hospital room. I got it averted. I told them if they move someone in I'm checking out. I expressed that I'm am the most miserable I have ever been. I'm depressed and uncomfortable. I haven't slept in days. I have an emotional meltdown at least once and hour and sharing a room with someone will basically put me over the edge. So the charge nurse goes to see what she can do. After a few minutes this other nurse who took care of me the other day comes in all smiles and says, "So they're moving my father-in-law in here soon." I found this to be a pretty shitty ploy. I didn't fall for it and said, "I'm sorry but I really don't want a roommate because I'm miserable and unhappy and about to snap." So I got the room to myself for tonight. But not without a guilt trip to make me feel shittier than I already did.

I want to leave now. I can't stand this. I have never been this miserable. I think I would be better off at my mom's. I'd be happier and in a better frame of mind for recovery. Right now I feel this place is keeping me from getting healthier faster because I am so fucking uncomfortable.

Problem is my friggn' legs are swollen. They tested for clots today and it was negative. Beyond the legs I don't see why I have to stay here. I'm supposed to have a physical therapist come to the house every day anyway.

Here are some pics of what the blood butchers have done to my arms. They look worse in person, trust me. Left arm:



and the right:



[pause]

K, I'm back. I just got some Percoset and shot of something in my gut which hurt like a BITCH! I think it's a blood thinner. Last time I got one of those last week it didn't hurt that bad.

I feel better right now. My nurse is really nice. A nice nurse definitely helps things around here. One that will listen for a bit. Some of these nurses really suck. They do the bare minimum they have to and seem bothered that they're there. Anyway, tonight's nurse, Cathy, told me I can arrange a garden date and have someone bring my dog up and I can play with him outside. I really want to see my baby boy. She also gave me some chamomile tea to try and calm me.

[pause]

Back again. They just tried to drop off someone in my room. I think I calmed down enough because I was just gonna let it go, but someone yelled at them that they're in the wrong room. WHEW!

I have been walking since Friday with the aid of this mega walker. I thought I was doing well and was being told I was until the boss Physical Therapist worked with me today and showed me I was doing it wrong, putting too much weight on my new hip. So when I adjusted things got a hell of a lot harder and I wasn't as cocky as I had been. Because my bones are soft and the weird shape of my freak body, it will take longer for the implant to take and settle properly, so no major weight, just what they call placement weight. Then I have to put all my weight onto the walker, step my good leg up even with my recovering leg, then repeat. PAIN IN THE ASS and SLOW! Brutal and exhausting.

I had to go to this rehab group today. I believe the next youngest person after me was at least 35 years older than me. The 90+ lady next to me was pretty damn funny. She had a great attitude that I wish I had some of. She was just as much of smartass as me.

Then I came back to my room and they had food for me and I wasn't hungry. Told them all I wanted to do was sleep. I was told earlier all I had to do was say that and they would leave me alone. Apparently leaving me alone meant someone knocking on my door every 10 minutes for the next 3 hours and bugging me even when I played dead. It was ridiculous. I finally got someone to leave and stick up a sign saying DO NOT DISTURB. That lasted 15 minutes until the boss Physical Therapist showed up again and made me get up. CHRIST!

More exhausting therapy.

Then I finally got to rest and then the damn blood woman shows up to draw more blood. I asked her if she was sure because no one told me about it. She says yeah. Then proceeds to do one of the most painful blood draws I've had since coming here.

Then the doctor comes in. I ask him about the bloodwork and he knows nothing about it. So he goes off, comes back and still has no idea. So I say it better work for whatever the hell he needs tomorrow because I'm tapped.

He leaves and my mom shows up. She's there for 5 minutes when another nurse comes in and says I have to go get an ultra sound. No one knows why. I figure no big deal, they don't hurt. Well, BOY was I WRONG. They were doing it to see if I had clots in my recovery leg. Only in order to do it she had to make my leg go out to the side which it really can't thanks to the surgery, then I had to hold it there for 15 minutes while she proceeded to JAMB and STAB the ultra sound gun into my groin and then down my leg. I cried through the entire thing. It was horrible.

We come back upstairs. My mom says she'll be back. I think she went to yell at the doctor for not knowing what was going on. She came back and hadn't found him. I could tell she was upset, then knew it when she said she needed to go home. I feel really bad for my mom. She may be worried as to whether or not she can handle taking care of me. I think we'll be fine, but it wont be easy.
I pooped today, finally. Apparently this was important. LOL Cause of a lot of stress among the doctors and nurses.

Basically been sitting here for the past 3-4 hours watching TV and trying to get through this post. Feeling much better right now. Hope I can sleep.

I just want to go home.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Well, apparently I almost died again.

Man this surgery was brutal. The replacement went fine then the kidneys went to hell and almost killed me. Potassium levels went through the roof and my creatinine (sp) went to 4.5. Which is BAD. I've gone to a kidney doctor for 2.0 level for years, so this was horrible. Basically poison. Down in the 3.0+ now thanks to all the fluids they pumped through me, kind of like the thing they do with cats. Narrowly avoided dialysis. Horrible tasting drinks that made me puke all over my mom/nurse and room, enemas, and other fluids got the bad out.

Coming through it, but I'm so fucking depressed and in pain. Plus they're making me stay in the hospital basically through next week because of all the stuff that has gone wrong. Just had a complete and utter meltdown with my nurse. She's super nice and seems to really care. She told me I need to let go and JUST REST. Stop worrying about doing anything important. Just sit back, watch TV, movies, read and chill. She asked me if I wanted to pray with her. And if this tells you anything about where I'm at right now, I almost took her up on the offer. Seriously, that's huge for me since I turned my back on God 18 years ago when I watched my grandfather die of cancer after having beaten Leukemia 15 years before.

I finally got them to yank the Folley catheter tonight and that alone was a major relief. I couldn't believe the tube i my schwang was that thick. So things should get better, but right now it's rough...really rough.

I suck at typing on this new laptop. Good thing here is I turned my laptop on and BINGO connected to the wi-fi here instantly. So at least U feel somewhat connected to the world again. So for those who have called and left messages or sent text messages, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Hopefully with the above description You can see why I haven't been answering. I even had my mom tell people not to come around because on Tuesday Stefan, Krista and Lynn were all here and I completely lost my shit then suddenly couldn't breathe. So had to ask them to leave because I was freaking out. So getting back to people should be more consistent.